3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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