so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
