also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
