Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
