I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
