Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Fuck appropriateness.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My vagina is officially offended.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
