how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
