I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
