I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
