ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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