I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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