At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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