What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Panties = found
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize