i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
