Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
