So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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