clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
