Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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