yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
