Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
