oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
