I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize