Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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