You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize