Will you blow on my dice?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
