did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize