Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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