IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
