omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
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