I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
