It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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