there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
