i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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