Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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