You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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