is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
