Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
