Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Can I color on your dick again?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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