Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
