through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
