CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Randomize
