Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
