good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
