My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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