just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
