So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
