just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
