Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Randomize
