So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
