just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
