Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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