Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
