worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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