She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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