I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
