Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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