Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
