I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
