# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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