Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
